I was torn between writing about something serious and writing something (that I think is) funny. I'm sort of a purist, and I think a post should either be (a) a thoughtful, organized essay about a single, important topic, or (b) silly updates and out-of-your-ass one-liners. And never the twain shall meet. And then I realized that I'm not doing NaBloPoMo anymore, so I don't have to ration my ideas in order to have one post per day. I could write two separate posts. What a novel idea!
Anyway, this is the serious post. I thought I would post the lighter post above it because, you know, it's Friday.
The theme of this post is Why I Love Writing This Blog.
The sub-head here is I Find Out Somebody is Pregnant Every Single Day.
Now, back in October, I wrote about how sometimes people's pregnancy announcements were hard for me. Each announcement threw me into a tailspin of Why shouldn't I have another baby? My life isn't like I planned it!
Since that posting, I think I have found out that approximately 8,000 people I know are pregnant. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but my reaction to their announcements has actually been pure, (mostly) untainted happiness for them.
I think this blog cured me.
In actuality, it was people's reactions to the blog that cured me. People read that post and said, I understand, me too, it's okay if you only want one child. And other people wrote other comments and said you are hilarious, Shannon, I love what you are doing. And the combination of these two sentiments made me realize that I'm destined to do something else besides the "two kids in the suburbs" life I always imagined for myself.
Let me emphasize that the part about imagining that different life is the main reason I'm always so devastated that I haven't had another kid. You picture your life going one way, and when it doesn't go that way it is like that life, and the people in it, have died. I hear people tell me this all the time. While I always wanted two kids and ended up with one, I have friends who always wanted three kids and ended up with two. I even talked to somebody who always wanted four kids and ended up capping it off at three. No matter what your life, it is difficult to accept that it wasn't what you originally had planned.
But if you (okay, I) can accept the whole "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" idea, you might realize that the reality of your life is better than the fantasy you once had. Sure, maybe it isn't obviously better. Maybe in your current circumstances you're learning a lesson that will not prove to be beneficial until far, far into the future. But things often work out as they should, even if they don't work out the way you want them to. Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward. (Soren Kirkegaard)
And so, I strive to accept the idea that I'm on the right path in my life. And so is everybody else. And when I find out that the next step in somebody's life path is another child, I am actually happy for that person.
Also, I hope this doesn't come across like I'm saying, "I don't need another baby. I have a little-known blog!" I'm saying that pursuing a creative outlet has made me realize that my life is so full and rewarding, and not the sad, semi-barren existence that my drama queen self often made it out to be.
And for sure, the creation of other people is a much more noble pursuit than the creation of written prose. There is no greater love than the love for one's child. For those who desire to create children, parenthood is the most noble calling.
But you should enter this noble calling because you want to, and not because you feel like you should. And so what I'm saying is, I'm over feeling like I should have another baby. And now I can actually be happy for those who are accepting the call to have more children.
And since I know of at least three people who read this blog who are pregnant, I would like to end this post with a whole-hearted congratulations to them. I truly mean it.